more camera play

this was such a great shot that i couldn't let it slip. but when i went to take it, my damn camera was trying to tell me i didn't have enough light, even with the flash. so it came out blurry. when i tried to retake it with another light on, aislinn had moved and the whole spirit of the shot was gone. so i manipulated the blurry one to look like a watercolor. i thought that fit the whole mood of the shot.

for those who love the bean...

for the record...this place has some of the best coffee. YUM! i am particularly fond of the KC Blend

i recommend that to anyone thinking of sending coffee to friends and relatives for the holidays.

overheard...

aislinn: hey let's play owl!
duncan: yay!! pway owl!!
max: it's duncan's turn!

duncan then hides behind the recliner while max and aislinn climb in the chair, look around either side and 'shoot' duncan (who is yelling 'WHOOOO WHOOOO!') with their arm 'lasers'. they then switch and max is the 'owl'.

*snicker*

getting into trouble is tiring business

here is a shot i snapped of the kids yesterday after the juice spitting fiasco. aislinn had been put in the bath to wash the sticky juice out of her hair, so it looks wet here. the boys still had the juice mess in their hair, because they had fallen asleep while she was being bathed, heh.

they looked so angelic that i just had to get a shot of it. too bad you can't see more of duncan's face, he is in the very back.

laughing too hard...making me wheeze

the children, oh the delightful, darling, wonderful children.

they tried to 'help' me clean up and started shoving toys in the car bed. this is two large molded plastic pieces that are fit together with a hollow under and between them. a board fits in the hollow and then a crib mattress fits on top of it all. the board has been removed and the car filled with toys with the mattress bulging on top. thankfully, most of the toys fell out underneath the car so it won't be too horrid to clean up. i am so tickled that they tried to help, and since they do not have access to the closets, they shoved toys in at least one available hole, heh heh.

uh oh...i better take the nose cone off the rocket bed and see if any toys have been stuffed under it.

two can be a pain in the ass, but three is sometimes a nightmare...

you know, when three children under the age of five get together it's pure chaos.

earlier i thought i would try and clean up the kitchen a bit and clean out the fridge to fit a turkey in there. i checked on the children faithfully and they all seemed to be doing fine. then, i heard them go silent, save for the odd giggle here & there. the television itself was also silent and i had a bad feeling about it all. sure enough, i walk into the livingroom to see aislinn on the floor in front on the entertainment center, either about to go under or just coming out. she spied me and immediately removed herself about 10 feet away, as if to say 'see? i wasn't doing it! not me!' i then proceeded to yell for max & duncan to get front and center. they were behind the entertainment center. mind you, the EC isn't accessible except for a back panel that had recently been glued back on...with industrial glue. one of my children, i am thinking duncan, managed to push hard enough to get it off, and they had their merry way around back there. yeah, that made me declare holy hell-war. spanked my two, because they were behind the thing, and then banished them all to the bedrooms, to be gated in. i then proceeded to clean up the trash pit of toys, megablocks and crumbs that was the living room.

they seemed to be doing well in the bedrooms, they were getting along and everytime i checked on them they weren't naked or killing each other. i then decided it was high time i had myself some lunch, after all it was 1pm and i hadn't eaten since 8am, and i think all the running around i did cleaning probably burnt off all the calories in that single piece of toast, heh. halfway through my chicken sandwich i realized they were all having just a bit TOO much fun, which is almost as telling as total silence. i peeked into the room and spied duncan, completely naked, aislinn's jeans in a ball on the floor and max's naked legs under the car bed. yes, they had all stripped and were playing 'naked children under the bed' again. at least this time max & aislinn still had their underwear on. after making them all get out of the bed and trying to get them back into their clothes, i see that aislinn's hair is wet on one side. i then look closer at max and duncan, who are also sporting wet hair. they had a juice spitting contest, since every juice cup was empty and their clothes were half soaked, i knew they were all guilty. more yelling (by me) ensued as well as all three juice cups being removed. they are now watching a video sans juice OR graham crackers, which they all begged for immediately after the juice incident.

*sigh* i know that soon i will have to give them a bath, to de-stickify the hair that has been liberally juiced and kool-aided.

kids are fun, *chuckle*

ahhhh yeah!

I'm...


Which The
State Character Are You?

*snortcackleSHRIEKguffaw*

here's where i quote a bruce springsteen song

one step up and two steps back...yep. i thought i was doing better yesterday, only to wake up to the same damned elephant sitting on my chest this morning. see, i made the mistake of taking some thera-fluesque last night and i guess it not only made me tired as hell but it didn't make my chest feel any better. i woke up in a fog and coughing up more tasty yellow chunks. mmmmm...sexy, no? i was so pissed at myself for sleeping in, since i had wanted to get up at 6, shower and make breakfast for amie & aj. i mean hell i was in bed and asleep by 11:30 ish. and the kids were out all night. but, i hauled my ass out of my drug induced coma at 7:20ish as aj & amie were getting ready to head to work. i guess aj made breakfast, heh. hopefully i can get up that early tomorrow. it's always nice to have some kid free time to myself, and the kids are going to have to learn to get up early so i can get them to school next fall. wow. i can barely believe that max & aislinn are going to kindergarten soon. sigh, my max-bear is growing up (shuddup :P that's my pet name for him, *chuckle*).

now i am off to have my coffee, make toast for duncan who just woke up, then gate all of the children in the bedrooms so i can take a shower to cleanse the sick-flop sweat off of myself. tasty, no? and on that note, i bid you a good day...until i decide to post again, heh.

i am sick...truly sick...and twisted

most weekdays the television is set to a children's network called 'noggin'. it's a great network, actually. has all kinds of kid shows from both nick jr. as well as pbs kids. i don't feel guilty at all for letting the kids watch it, and it isn't always on all day long. today, however, it was. i wasn't feeling much like playing with the kids as i am still kind of sick and due to my having to sleep with two pillows last night (so i could breathe), i did something to my back & neck. so...yeah...noggin has been on all day. now, for the past 3 or so months, maybe longer, i have been trying to keep track of messed up things said on kids shows (not all shown on noggin, btw). i have a small list which culminated in one final funny i heard today. i don't always hear what is said on the various shows, as i generally try to tune it all out lest my brain turn to mush. these are but a few that stuck out to my sordid ears:

noggin, in between shows - 'up down, up down, open close, open close, hot dog, hot dog, yum yum yum, yum yum yum' (or something like that, at any rate it sounds utterly perverse)

little bear - 'i am afraid i will slip on the log and drop my berries in the pond'

dora the explorer - 'garden, web, big blue bush!'

stuart little - 'i think i'm tossing the salad a bit too far.'

little bear - 'i like your cupcakes, mother bear.'

rainbow fish - 'we can pitch this tent using only rocks!'

bob the builder - 'faster travis! faster!!'

maisie - 'maisie is kissing the kitten!'

the tweenies - 'i've got to go off and do some very nasty things in the forest'

oswald - 'hey, henry! everyone is pitching a tent!'

noggin, also between the shows - 'use a magnifying glass! it makes things look bigger than they really are!'

now i realize that almost all of these are completely innocent, but i have a sewer mind, so naturally they make me snigger uncontrollably. *snort*

because i suddenly have way too much time on my hands

now that amie isn't here with me everyday, i am bored as shit. so i am posting this cartoon that aj emailed me earlier:

*snortsnickerchortle*

hmmm...can that be good for the plant?

i just had to snap a pic of this:

my poor jade plant. abby likes sitting in it (not on or near, oh no) to look out the kitchen window. please ignore the dirty dishes in the sink that are peeking out in the lower left corner. i was just about to do them when i spotted abby in the plant, heh.

still coughing and congested, but not so bad today

for some inexplicable reason, duncan woke up at the ass-crack of dawn this morning. he was the last of the 3 kids to actually go to sleep, and the first up. thankfully he didn't wake up cranky and screaming like a banshee. instead he babbled and played with his buzz lightyear toy for a good 15 or 20 minutes before amie brought aislinn upstairs and settled her in max's bed with max. of course, then max decided to wake up, and since aislinn was already awake, that means we had 3 bright & chipper kids demanding cereal and juice before 7 am, *chuckle*.

okay, the kids are now settled with cereal, juice and a video and i have my coffee and grits. hopefully i can eat and get a cup of caffiene in me before i let them out of the bedrooms. amie & aj are already gone and wending their merry way to work.

here's to hoping today is a good day, heh.

ughhhhhh

still sick...hoping i wake up tomorrow feeling 100% better...going back to bed to die.

hacking up bits of lung tissue is always fun!

bleah. well, the non-productive cough i had yesterday has become productive while i slept. great green sickenig tasting globs of mucous i am coughing up now. mmmmm, tasty, no? sent aj out for robitussin cold & congestion tablets and some caffiene free sodas earlier. today will be a day of reading on the couch with my head propped up, my comforter and a book. i do NOT need to be sick on monday, no no no. this weekend i am an official couch sloth.

mint-chocolate coffee and other stories of my life

this morning i invented a yummy concoction of freshly brewed coffee, hot cocoa powder, milk and peppermint oil that is absolutely yummy. cleared my sinuses right up too.

when i awoke around 9 am to the dulcet tones of max asking to sleep with me, i felt as though a medium sized elephant had sat on my chest all night. seems that the cold max had yesterday has found it's way to me. i couldn't be more excited. after coughing and hacking up about 4 metric tons of mucous, i staggered in to make myself some coffee so i could deal with the perkiness that was max. the child was literally bouncing off the walls. must have been all the cold medicne he took yesterday and the subsequent hours of sleep it caused. after shoving some carrot cake at him (i made it yesterday for aaron's b-day) and telling him it was breakfast, i took up possession of the couch, where i will most likely live today.

OH WOW!!!! while i was typing this up, one of the staffing agencies amie went on a job interview for yesterday called. she got the job!!!!!!!! ROCK THE HELL ON!!! wow, despite feeling like shit physically, i am super stoked for her. WOOO HOO!

okay, that's about all the excitement i can muster, i am off to make my grave on the sofa. have a good day all!

when plastic surgeons attack

if this isn't like something out of Brazil, i don't know what is.

it's simply terrifying that with an assload of money, some skin bleaching and plastic surgery, this:

a quite attractive man, actually...can go to this:

night of the living freakos.

he himself has claimed that he doesn't look that much different than he originally looked, but come on. that first pic was taken when he was only 21 and the last is probably one of his most recent as it's his booking shot from the charges currently being pressed against him for possible child molestation. now remember, last time no charges were ever filed because the child refused to testify. this time there is a victim willing to speak out. again, here's to hoping he gets put away for once. it would be nice to show that money doesn't automatically buy a get out of jail free card all the time. what worries me is that this man has reproduced. how fucking scary is that? oh well, maybe his vast fortune can go to pay for future therapy bills for his kids. *shudder*

pondering

i found out yesterday that the husband of one of my old best friends (she died almost 10 years ago) was shot and killed by his second wife last week. i hadn't been in contact with him for quite some time, so i really didn't know what was going on with his life in recent years. but it came as a huge shock to me when i did hear. that makes 4 rather close friends from my past that have died in the past 10 years, all from various reasons. it kind of makes me feel old, although if anything this recent death is just a huge shock to me. what a bizarre feeling to know you are older or only a few years younger than a person you were once close to who is dead. really makes it hit home just how impermanant things are.

two-hundred and forty dollahs worth of puddin'

ahhhhh yeah!

*snortsnickerguffaw*

for those of you who think i am completely insane, this should partially explain what i am talking about.

who's bitch will michael be?

looks like Michael Jackson is at it again. hopefully the fucker will be put behind bars this time, since the alleged victim is willing to testify against him. what is most disturbing (to me anyway) is this paragraph:

The warrant was for violation of Section 288(a) of the California Penal Code — which prohibits lewd or lascivious acts with a child under age 14. The California Penal Code says anyone convicted of the crime can be punished by three to eight years in prison.

so if the kid was a couple years older, say 14, then it's perfectly legal to perform lewd and lacivious acts? wtf? sorry but that's still fucked up in my book, and believe me, i am not a prude, heh.

i wonder if his fellow inmates will play hackey sack with his nose...

uhhh...yeah...there are no words

never again will i think i am strange. oh no. never. this guy wins all freako contests, hands down.

i am sure some of you have seen that site previously, if not all of you. it's been around for a long time. but i felt compelled to post it here and share with those who may be virgins.

seriously, whatever people wanna do with themselves, fine. but he dresses like this all the time, even for work. and the poses he makes just crack me the hell up. in some of them his facial expression looks like that of a small child forced into taking horrid fetish shots. know what i mean? freaks my shit out. completely.

oh well, whatever floats his boat, or makes his pan hat point.

it's beginning to smell a lot like...ummm...smelly stuff

what to post, what to post. hmmm. not much going on, just same old shite, different day. OH. hopefully sometime this week my new soap making supplies will arrive and i can get to work making that stuff. amie already has quite a few candles made. we kind of abandoned the ebay selling venture. it just wasn't worth it. we now plan to take candles and bars of soap to some local shops to sell on consignment. hopefully we will sell quite a few since x-mas is coming up.

at any rate these are the 'flavors' i am planning to make (i post this here for lack of a better thing to post, heh.)

Narcissus - yellow goat's milk soap with white chunks
Tangerine - olive oil soap with crushed lavender flowers
Lavender - shea butter soap with crushed sage leaves
Cedar - hemp oil soap with crushed sage leaves
Apricot - olive oil soap with oatmeal flakes
Lime - green coconut milk soap with white chunks
Hyacinth - yellow shea butter soap with white chunks
Peppermint - coconut milk soap with crushed peppermint leaves
Sunflower - shea butter soap with crushed calendula flowers
Patchouli - hemp oil soap with poppy seeds
Sandalwood - hemp oil soap with poppy seeds
Zephyr of Juniper (like bath & body works juniper breeze) - white goat's milk soap with green chunks

that list is the scent and then the kind of soap i will use for that scent and what additives (if any) i will use.

okay...children won't cease screaming...must...go..tie...to...bed....ARGGGHHHH!

comrade V8 has polluted my brain

posting so that i don't have to see that damned neonish twat everytime i go to my journal.

so. amie & i hit our favorite little mexican place today for some mushroom quesadillas. fucking YUM. we also did a bit of shopping...with duncan in tow. what the hell was i thinking taking a 2 year old into toysrus? it was decidedly a nightmare.

tonight has been a lazy sort of night. been playing war (the card game) with amie most of the evening. so far i have won both games, *chuckle*. but i won't get too cocky, we still have a few hours of wakefullness left, she will most likely trounce me yet.

last night drank waaaaay too much vodka, in bloody mary form. they were tasty, but damn did i regret it this morning. i finally started feeling human after a pot of coffee, a big-ass bavarian cream doughnut, 3 ibuprofen and a shower. course this occurred after noon, heh. it was almost a blessing to get out of the house, even if we took a toy-crazed 2 year old with us.

i am now off to do some leg exercises while i wait for amie to put aislinn to bed. i am seriously in need of starting that long neglected exercise regimen. there were all these hopes & dreams for when amie moved up here...we were going to motivate each other into whittling our asses into more compact shapes. yeah...that has happened, lol. both of us being incredibly laid back and naturally leisurely people, we kind of enable each other towards sloth. *chuckle* note how i avoid the word 'lazy' at all costs? i am not ashamed of this...oh no. i have low blood pressure and am proud of it. i won't die of a pressure-induced aneurism...but my ass might grow so large it decides to take over my entire body...ugh, on second thought maybe a pressure-induced aneurism is preferable. but i digress...

happy weekend all.

a circe-haiku and something else

corn
all over my livingroom floor
damned children

i found this on kyra_ojosverdes' journal and decided i had to take it.


You have a glow-in-the-dark vagina!

What color is your vagina? (Made for either gender! Results contain pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla

wooo hoo! nothing like an incandescent twat!!

things you never think you will ever say, until you have children #346
'why are you naked, in a box, under the bed?'

wheeee!! ride that pussy! (oops did i post that aloud?)

so. last night amie & i were torturing farley. not that farley much minded, he is such an attention whore that he probably thought it was just great. anyway, here are some shots of the torture session that i managed to snap:

here is aislinn's stuffed bear, 'brown bear' making farley his kitty-bitch. (okay so amie forced brown bear to ride farley...who cares it was freaking hysterical!)

and here is a non-discreet ass sniffing shot. and for the record, this was NOT a posed shot like the above one.

nevermind that 'brown bear' is aislinn's prized stuffed toy...nevermind that one would think amie & i could find better use of our time (although, we do find some damned fun ways to waste time, heh heh)...and nevermind that if there is a hell, we are both decidedly crispy critters.

*chuckle*

hmmmm...

should amie & i be worried that our four year olds are spending a lot of time hanging out under my two year old's bed, wearing nothing but their underwear?

in other news, apparently amie cannot hold onto her chinese food. *snickersnortguffaw*

snap...snap...SNAP

as i said before here are some of the shots i got today:

aislinn being silly with a raisin. she kinda has that 'toothless, louisiana psychic' thing goin' on, heh heh.

max, with an odd sort of smug look on his face.

duncan in mid babble.

and then i have some city/industrial shots i took. i was kind of limited since we were on the top of the parking garage and i had 3 young children in tow, but i managed to get these:

i am not sure how i feel about a couple of these so i am waiting a day and then i will look at them again and decide which ones i want to upload to my deviant art site, heh.

flibberty-jibbit

amie & i hauled the kids into the city today as she had a job interview there. we waited in the parking garage while she took a volley of tests for this place. it's like she was trying to get into college or something, crazy shit man. i mean, come on...math and grammar tests? for a position that would reqire her to scan documents into their system. insanity i tell you. at any rate, it wasn't too bad. we were at the top of the parking garage, and it's a sunny day, not too cold. also the garage wasn't really busy at all so the kids got to play up there...in the sun & wind, in the city, on the top of a building, heh heh. they had fun though, it was better than making them stay in the car the whole time. i managed to get a few cool shots, at least i hope they are cool. my batteries died while we were there so i am currently recharging them so i can look over the shots i did get. i will post them later.

anyway, good day all!

because i just can't stop getting all artsy

some shots i took today.

it's so wrong but not as wrong as it could be...

if there is a hell, i will surely be going...and i won't get the luxury of a handbasket, no no. see, i want these so badly i can taste it. i would even remove all the useless fucking magnets off my fridge to make room for those. oh how i want them. i would of course have to remove them when either my parents or my in-laws came to visit. i don't know though, my folks might get a kick out of it, hee hee. many thanks to skippy for posting that link on his journal.

and i know it's just wrong, but it's not like it's this, OKAY!? i certainly don't want that.

and if the former link doesn't send me to a afterlife of toasty flamage, the latter surely will. *chuckle*

candles, and photos, and cellophane, and cleaning....oh yeah and a surprise inlaw visit too.

so. we were up late last night working on getting the ebay candle and soap sellage shite going. i was taking the candle shots, aj was getting the stuff online and amie was wrapping the candles. i still need to make some soap tonight. anyway, since we were up late we slept in today. didn't get up until the phone woke us at 11 am. whoever it was didn't leave a message so i blearily looked at the caller ID and saw it was the inlaws. they never call. and so obviously i was worried about why they did, nevermind that they didn't bother to leave a message. i was worried so i called back. they wanted to come up to see us for the day. ummm...yay? the house was a complete disaster area, i had been planning on doing the housework today anyway, but didn't plan on having only 3 hours to do it all in. so yeah, we have all been scurrying about like scurrying whirling dervishes (shut up :P). currently i am taking a break to drink some coffe mixed with a slimfast shake (don't wanna take time to eat), and post this.

i leave you with one of the candle pics, and if you want to order some go here. they are a really good deal, and they smell fantastic. gorgeous too, heh. and there are 2 more scents to be posted soon, china rain (a clean, floral, soapy kinda scent...i have several of my own in that scent) and green apple.

i cannot begin to spell the sound of me flipping my lips with a forefinger...

there is something just not quite chippewa with me today, and lest you say a word, NO it isn't the two colt fourty-five 40 ouncers i downed last night with V8 juice. a concoction amie & i like to call 'red malt liquor'. yeah. so we haven't thought of a catchy name for it, regardless it is mightee tastee. OH! hey...there's a catchy name, ummm hmmm. anyway, that is not the cause of my bizarro mood, nor is it the mere 5 hours of sleep i had last night, inturrupted by max wanting to share the couch with me. (yeah, yeah, YEAH. i conked out on the couch while reading a cheesy mystery anthology.) nor is it the absolute insanity that whining children have caused today, no no no. there is absolutely no reason for me bursting into a rousing chorus of 'take me out to the ball game' in a quasi-operatic voice whilst doing dishes. nope. none at all. i think my cheese has finally fallen off my cracker.

yup. send weed...quickly! *chuckle*

suicide note emulator

this is damned funny. amie & i spent a few hours (okay 30 minutes) playing with it. hee hee hee.

this is about all i have done today, heh

found this on weet's journal and decided to take it.

lions and giraffes and bumble bees, OH MY!

so. the kids went trick or treating for the first time last night. duncan had to stay home because no way did i want to try to herd him and max at the same time. i did allow him to dress up though. amie & i had found these adorable and warm halloween costumes at target on sale yesterday. here are some pics:

when we took max & aislinn out looting, i was frankly shocked at how cordial and sweet max was. i had expected him to be a wild heathen, running amok, not listening to me and being incredibly rude to the strangers offering him candy. nope. instead he was very docile and patient, didn't crowd or shove and actually held my hand while walking between houses.

but, as a result of his untypical civility, he came home with about half the candy haul that aislinn did. aislinn using his amiability, waited till the candy passer outers were distracted by max to sneak-thief more candy for herself. and it wasn't just the odd tiny candy bar or sweet tarts either. nope. she was grabbing for the larger sized stuff that she saw, which led to her bringing home a load of kit-kat bars, *chuckle*. she would even go so far as to ask for specific things even after getting her ration of loot. such as 'i want a sucker!' and each departure was punctuated with her saying, 'okay, let's go get more treats!!'

hilarious i tell you.