100+ gutter truths about me

1. i think i am a serious dork, heh. but i embrace my dorkishness
2. i actually say 'rock on!' when i am excited about something.
3. i have been know to say 'rock out with your cock out' too.
4. there are some songs that i just absolutely love, and most of them are oldies.
5. i like linkin' park, but i would NEVER see them in concert, their fans scare me
6. same goes for ICP
7. i love mushrooms and tomatoes and if either were to become suddenly extinct i would be crushed.
8. i sing along with songs on the radio
9. i love wine and beer, but it doesn't take much to get me silly. can't have more than 3 glasses of wine or 2 beers.
10. i love marijuana, although i haven't had any in nearly a year. (not since amie was here, ROFL!)
11. i am a complete mint whore. i have at least 6 different kinds of mints in my purse at any given time.
12. i hate the word 'alot' and yet i use it.....alot.
13. i also overuse the word 'like' ala 'valley girl style'....
14. all kinds of 'evil' thoughts will go through my head but i rarely speak them.
15. i use the word 'evil' quite a bit and yet i don't mean it in the typical sense.
16. i am a serious chapstick/lipbalm/lipstick whore. i have too many tubes to remember the exact number.
17. i love to read books and watch movies.
18. i have been known to watch utter shit...but i rarely read it.
19. i ~really~ dug on keanu in Matrix: Reloaded....but i think it was the monk's cassack he was wearing. yup, i am just perverse.
20. angelina jolie is one of the few women that could make me go homo. seriously. i love men far too much.
21. i shouldn't type up journal posts when i have had WAY too much wine, lol.
22. i actually watched Martha, Inc. worse, i RECORDED it so i could watch it minus commercials. (it was like a train wreck, i HAD to watch, lol)
23. sometimes i wear a fake lip ring, because i don't want to actually pierce it.
24. secretly, i like air supply songs and barry manilow too...and i will sing along with them on the radio when no one is around.
25. i own a black dress that buttons all the way down, ala Wednesday Addams...and one day soon i shall be able to wear it without feeling like a sausage.
26. i have a love affair with the word 'fuck'
27. i once made dinner for some friends and the bean soup i made was all crunchy. (i added the tomatoes too soon)
28. i have no qualms about discussing the state of my bowels.
29. i take mad glee in the noxious odors i can produce with my ass, not to mention the sounds.
30. i have this idea of making sock puppets and then putting on a show for anyone asking to view my web cam on yahoo.
31. i have seen a cow urinating...and it wasn't pretty.
32. i have laughed so hard i have pissed myself...on several occasions. of course on most of those occasions i was underr the age of 10, but nevermind.
33. i had both my children so quickly and nearly effortlessly that after the last one several nurses kept saying i was made to have babies. i thoroughly enjoyed being considered a 'brood sow'...no...REALLY. not.
34. i actually took a dump while pushing to deliver my second (and last child). gross i know but if you know anything about the mechanics of childbirth, then it's not so shocking. it's actually quite a common occurance, heh.
35. my yahoo ID is actually the combination of an old joke betwixt a friend and i and 'Breakfast at Tiffany's' by Truman Capote.
36. i have no religion.
37. when i was 13, i was so terrified by something that a youth pastor said to me that i was convinced that satan would come out of the ouija board in my closet.
38. because of number 37, and one hellish week spent at a southern baptist church camp when i was 15, i ceased believing in all that tripe when i was 16.
39. i believe in ghosts and have actually seen/felt them before.
40. but, having said that i still am not a religious person.
41. liver and other organ meats skeeve me out.
42. headcheese is perhaps the most disgusting thing in the world that people eat.
43. i love turkey hotdogs and bologna. yeah, yeah, i know it's all lips & assholes but i can't SEE them (refer to number 42).
44. i make fun of my husband for eating slim jims...but i will eat them too sometimes.
45. i never use those toilet cover, ass-gaskets. you know the tissue things that are supposed to protect your ass from germs? they just end up sticking to your ass anyway, why use em?
46. sometimes you just have to dig crusties out of the old nostril holes, and i do. usually with a kleenex.
47. i have a thing about the number 3 and multiples of 3. IE, i like to wear anywhere from 3 to 9 black O-ring bracelets, etc.
48. 9 is my favorite number (it's 3 threes :D)
49. earwax tastes nasty. i know because i tasted it once when i was 5 or 6. yes, i was an odd child
50. once, while walking home from the bus when i was in 2nd grade, a grasshopper jumped into my open mouth. it traumatized me.
51. i loathe grasshoppers (see number 50).
52. spiders and snakes creep me the hell out, but not as much as ceramic clowns *shudder*
53. ceramic dolls in general make my flesh crawl. especially those with the eyes that move. EEK!
54. i am afraid of heights big time, but i love roller coasters.
55. when i was in jr high, some dork-ass gave me the nickname 'franci roller coaster' because my last name was roller. fucker.
56. i have to agree with sundry that Vox is the best wank book...ever.
57. i also have to agree with her that if given the choice between visual or written erotica, i'll take written any day.
58. i have read some of the Marquis De Sade's writings, not from interest in doing those kind of things, but from sick fascination.
59. i will cover my eyes when i see a picture of a snake on television, and turn the page very quickly when i see one in a book or magazine.
60. i will even go so far as to be adverse to actually TOUCHING the picture of a snake.
61. stepping through a spider web will make me all itchy and freaked out all day.
62. i once screamed bloody murder when a skink leapt from a box i was carrying.
63. i used to take an evil pleasure in growling at people who looked at me odd in the mall when i was in highschool.
64. when i get irritated with people i will hiss at them sometimes, like a cat.
65. although i will also do that cat hiss in jest as well.
66. i can also meow and growl like a cat too, and do sometimes for various reasons.
67. i just love the word 'pap', but i don't use it enough.
68. i really love cigarettes but i hate how they make me feel. all bronchitis-ish.
69. i have 3 tattoos and want a fourth.
70. i will over analyze, in my head, things i have said or how i have responded to things people said to me.
71. i like to think i don't give a shit what people think of me, but that's a lie. secretly i do care, hee hee.
72. i have huge pores on my face. it's a genetic thing my mom & dad BOTH have them too. too bad i can't use them to store loose change.
73. i am 5'5", too heavy but working on it, have black hair (currently) and blue eyes.
74. i wear glasses and refuse to try to wear contacts. i already know they would drive me batshit.
75. all those things i have heard about tampons and how one 'can't feel them when they are in'...BULLSHIT, complete and utter bullshit. i hate tampons.
76. i think almost anything can be improved with the introduction of one or all of the following: ranch dressing, mushrooms, parmesean cheese, tomatoes.
77. i hate when they sell fancy, flavored tortillas as 'wraps'. it's a TORTILLA people!
78. i have a thing about frogs. i LOVE them.
79. i have a teapot collection, but i have stopped it at 5 teapots.
80. i also have a mug collection, but i only collect certain mugs, and once the shelf in the kitchen where they reside is full, that's it.
81. same goes for my collection of mini tins.
82. i once worked as a telemarketer and let them 'let me go' after a week because i couldn't bear the thought of putting in a two week notice and having to be there for 2 more weeks. yeah, i know, i could have just quit but i was 16 and it was my first non-babysitting job.
83. i used to have such a propensity for having one-night-stands while intoxicated that my friend jake said my indian name was 'wakes-up-in-the-hotel-eaton'.
84. i yell 'get off the damn phone and drive' so much in the car that my oldest son max is now saying it.
85. i know some ASL (american sign language) because my brother-in-law is deaf.
86. i have a horrible habit of signing 'yes' to wait staff when they ask me if everything is okay while i am taking a drink or a bite.
87. i used to read those trashy romance novels from harlequin when i was in jr high. hey, my mom kept getting them free from a friend of hers.
88. i refuse to read those same trashy romance novels now. i prefer trashy mystery novels these days.
89. i once farted ~really~ loud in gym class while doing jumping jacks. i was seriously ashamed then, but i think were it to happen now i would collapse into giggles.
90. i once had a seriously bad case of SBD gas (silent but deadly) and passed one in line for tickets at a movie theatre. little did i know a poor child was standing behind me at ass height and totally got a snootful of my stank. i apologized and ran to the restroom to laugh my ass off like an evil bitch.
91. i am seriously considering getting my bottom lip pierced. in the middle with a small hoop.
92. my first roomate was so skeeved out by 'little people' aka dwarves that i made her physically ill one night talking about 'dwarf sex'.
93. after seeing the movie 'the prophecy' i had a huge indepth, philosophical conversation with my then friend hannah until she said, 'franci, it's just a movie.' HA! just a movie indeed.
94. i used to love hanging out with my friend jake on sunday mornings when he had to bartend. we would sit around at the bar, recovering from our saturday night hangovers and make wise cracks about the people who were in the bar. it was always the same people, and they would be waiting outside for up to an hour before he opened. granted the people never knew we were talking about them. he would also force them to listen to dance music, the kind they play in gay nightclubs.
95. one of my favorite sayings when talking about a nasty person or thing is 'show us far' ala sesame street.
96. i can't stand bjork. her voice is like nails on a chalkboard to me.
97. i hate, hate, hate when people don't rinse their dishes or leave the cap off the toothpaste.
98. likewise i hate when the toilet seat is left up. any of the seats. closed all the way please. although i am not so anal about this one now. i have a toilet training child in the house. can't get all freaked about the seat, heh.
99. we have two fireplaces in our home and have never once lit a fire in them.
100. i have always wished i had the talent to paint but i don't, so i take photos instead.
101. i can't believe i made it all the way, and i feel as though i could list more.
102. but i won't, LOL.
103. or will i?
104. one last one, i sometimes talk with my mouth full. okay i do it alot. but i figure since it doesn't gross me out when others do it, then fuck it. it's not like i spray food chunks. that would be sick.